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Southern Drole

by Sarah Segal-Lazar

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1.
I used to write songs about Feeling awful blue ‘Bout men who went and did me wrong And proved to be untrue But since I met you darling I haven’t had the urge to write Cos your lovin’ keeps me occupied From morning long into the night So come on baby break my heart Go and cut my old heartstrings I’ve always made my living As a lonely gal who sings Now everything is wonderful But somehow it’s all wrong Cos no one ever wants to hear A happy ending country song I’m thrilled by all the jewelry The chocolates and the teddy bears Most ladies would be grateful To a man who clearly cares But girls like that don’t have to think About such things as art And writing songs that make the Top Ten On the country chart So come on baby break my heart Go and cut my old heartstrings I’ve always made my living As a lonely gal who sings Now everything is wonderful But somehow it’s all wrong Cos no one ever wants to hear A happy ending country song I know I sound ungrateful Know that I should change my tune But Johnny Cash’s music went downhill When he met June So come on baby break my heart Go and cut my old heartstrings I’ve always made my living As a lonely gal who sings Now everything is wonderful But somehow it’s all wrong Cos no one ever wants to hear A happy ending country song No no one ever wants to hear A happy ending country song
2.
My baby left me for another woman I'd kill him but I know that it's a sin I'd take it all in stride But what really hurts my pride Is my baby went and left me for my twin If he had gone and left me for my cousin Or my grandma, hell, I wouldn't make him pay But he chose to leave me for the only person in this world Who shares all my genetic DNA When we were kids my sister always stole my dresses And my underwear, I know, it's pretty vile I forgave her every time but now she's really crossed a line Cos my baby won't be going out of style My baby left me for another woman I'd kill him but I know that it's a sin I'd take it all in stride But what really hurts my pride Is my baby went and left me for my twin I try to be a decent sport And share what I've been given But some things aren't the sharing sort Like men with other women Oh the worst part is nobody will believe me They say they saw me with him just the other day When I say that was my twin they just wink at me and grin Then they slap my back and head the other way My baby left me for another woman I'd kill him but I know that it's a sin I'd take it all in stride But what really hurts my pride Is my baby went and left me for my twin Oh my baby went and left me for my twin Oh my baby went and left me for my twin
3.
I don't want someone to hold my hand To keep them walking stable I don't want someone whose courting plan's To drink me far under the table I don't want someone to hold me tight And leave at sun's first warning I don't want someone to say goodnight Unless they say good morning And I spent too long Chasing you down To the end of the bottle Hoping you would come 'round And I spent too long With my head in daze In the clouds, in a fog In the smoke of your gaze And I don't want someone to hold my hand To keep them walking stable I don't want someone whose courting plan's To drink me far under the table I don't want someone to hold me tight And leave at sun's first warning I don't want someone to say goodnight Unless they say good morning Oh it started as just an easy game In the darkness It was harmless But I got burned all the same Cos oh somewhere I got tangled in your ways Thought you leavin' Would mean freedom But it turns out that you've stayed And I don't want someone to hold my hand To keep them walking stable I don't want someone whose courting plan's To drink me far under the table I don't want someone to hold me tight And leave at sun's first warning I don't want someone to say goodnight Unless they say good morning Unless they say good morning Unless they say good morning
4.
I drank from the barrel up in Bowling Green I floated on water on the Riverboat Queen I’ve loved every town in this country I’ve seen From the Blue Ridge to the Redwood Valley I picked up the banjo up in Wichita I picked though the cotton in East Arkansas I stayed south ‘til spring ‘til the north ground would thaw ‘Til the wintertime’s grand finale My mother made me promise When I was seventeen That I’d never risk it all For something fickle As a dream But I couldn’t keep my feet pinned And I couldn’t keep my word So I took to the road And the creeks and streams that flowed But I couldn’t fly Cos I Was born Another wingless bird I saw the smoke rise from those Kentucky mines I wore out my soles as I crossed county lines But I never called home with my nickels and dimes I just kept them warm ‘tween my fingers I wandered the plains and I wandered the hills I wandered through ghost towns with forgotten mills And I felt like a ghost and it gave me the chills When you’re gone still the memory lingers My mother made me promise When I just a child That I’d never leave the nest For things uncertain, vague, and wild But I couldn’t keep my feet pinned And I couldn’t keep my word So I took to the road And the creeks and streams that flowed But I couldn’t fly Cos I Was born Another wingless bird No I’ll never fly Cos I Was born Another wingless bird
5.
Well he walked in With his jeans so tight You could tell what brand of boxers He was wearin' tonight Wore boots that echoed When he walked around Left his shirt unbuttoned About halfway down Had a rose tattoo On his inner arm And eyes that smoldered Like a five-alarm He was sittin' at the bar Like an old-time movie star But there's one thing that I know If that man was a lady Everyone'd be buying him a drink If that man was a lady Everyone would say, "What would his mamma think?" If that man was a lady Everyone would whisper and would stare But the fella's lookin' fine And I think it's hella time To get over what a person wants to wear Well she walked in Round half past ten And she might as well have walked Into the lion's den Had a leather jacket And high-heeled shoes Black eyeliner And a few tattoos She was soon surrounded By a dozen guys Trying to get her number With a dozen lies It's the same at every bar Though she'd travelled near and far But there's one thing that I know If that girl was a fella Everyone'd be leaving her alone If that girl was a fella She wouldn't have to act like she was on her phone If that girl was a fella Nobody would whistle or would stare But the chick is lookin' fine And I think it's frickin' time To get over what a person wants to wear Now you can say all you want about a person's duds But I can tell more 'bout a person by the things they judge So give me a short skirt A denim shirt Cos there's one thing that I know The next time this woman walks in through that door You better find a kinder thing to say than call her a Cos this lady's lookin' good And I think it's time we should All get over what a person wants to wear If that man was a lady Everyone'd be buying him a drink If that man was a lady Everyone would say, "What would his mamma think?" If that man was a lady Everyone would whisper and would stare But the fella's lookin' fine And I think it's hella time To get over what a person wants to wear
6.
Take Me Home 03:30
Well the winter comes a-callin' Like an old forgotten friend And because we can't ignore it We just smile and let it in And we sit around the fire And we wonder how we've changed Since the last time snow eclipsed us Since the last time north winds raged Oh we feel so inundated By the slush and by the past We get comfortable with good-enough But then we get bored so fast And in twelve months we can't tell If it's just settling or it's fate So we give ourselves another twelve To sit back and just wait What does it mean if I make you laugh What does it mean if you stop my fall What does it mean if we talk for hours Or if we don't talk at all What does it mean if you call my name What does it mean if we're alone What does it mean if you take my hand Or if you take me home When the winter comes a-callin' It gets hard to leave our beds So we pull the covers tighter And we feign sleep instead When the sky hangs low and grey We keep our questions far from scorn For the fear of scaring off That one thing that keeps us warm What does it mean if I make you laugh What does it mean if you stop my fall What does it mean if we talk for hours Or if we don't talk at all What does it mean if you call my name What does it mean if we're alone What does it mean if you take my hand Or if you take me home Take me home

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released January 24, 2015

Music and lyrics by Sarah Segal-Lazar

Vocals and acoustic guitar: Sarah Segal-Lazar
Additional vocals: Nathalie Gagnon-Joseph
Electric guitar: Tyler Miller
Drums: Alex Lepanto
Bass: Elijah Fisch

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Sarah Segal-Lazar Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island

Folk Femme Fatale

New album VALLEYS out now!

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